How to tell people you have an STI

Even though STIs (sexually transmissible infections) are common, having a conversation about your sexual health status can feel awkward.

If you’re feeling nervous, you could start off by telling a person that you trust. This might help you prepare to tell your partners or sexual contacts, and healthcare provider that you’ve tested positive for an STI. 

Letting someone know they may have been exposed to an STI is important. STIs don’t always cause symptoms, so some people will be positive for an STI without realising. This means that they don’t know to get tested and miss out on getting treatment quickly. This can have a serious impact on their health.

If it's safe, tell people that you have had sexual contact with recently that they might need an STI test or treatment.

If you didn't share contact details, it might be tricky to get in touch with the people you’ve had sex with. Making the effort is worth it for their health, and for the health of other people they've had sex with.

Check out our sample messages. Or try the Message Generator on the Burnett Foundation’s website. Choose the options that fit your situation and then hit the button to generate a message to share. 

If your positive result has come through a different healthcare provider to your usual doctor or medical centre, it’s a good idea to let them know as well. This will give them a full picture of your health status and mean they can make informed decisions with you when it comes to future healthcare.

You might choose to tell your whānau and friends that you've tested positive for an STI. But this is always your decision, and you should only do it if it's safe.

Whānau and friends may be able to support you. And, depending on the STI, they may need to take steps to protect themselves.

If you’ve been diagnosed with an STI that can spread to people through sharing clothing and bedding – like scabies or pubic lice – it’s important to tell the people you live with.

Some STIs can also affect your fertility (your ability to get hapū) or can be passed on to your pēpi if you’re pregnant or breastfeeding.

STIs in detail

In Aotearoa New Zealand, gonorrhoea, HIV, and syphilis are notifiable diseases. This means that health professionals need to report all positive cases anonymously under public health guidelines. Your personal details are kept confidential. They do this to reduce the risk of further spread, to understand how the disease is spreading, and to understand how effective control measures are.

If you’re diagnosed with gonorrhoea, HIV, or syphilis, your treatment provider will start contact tracing. This means asking about who you’ve recently had sexual contact with to find out who may have been exposed, and asking them to get tested. Many people do this themselves, but some people prefer to get their treatment provider to help.